Today I sit with an overwhelming sadness, and tears streaming down my face. I have to go to work in a little while and quite frankly I don't want to. I want to sit here and honor this grief; and the sadness I feel as a result. There's a tightness in my chest from the grief I feel, a tightness so heavy it steals my breath. Damn, I'm grieving hard.
Last night I came home from work and saw something black in my back yard on the edge of the forest. I wondered what it was when I saw it, and my brain started in overdrive. Intuitively I knew. I immediately told myself it couldn't be and walked inside my house. I said the usual hellos to everyone and proceeded to the kitchen to start unloading my groceries. After saying hello to my love, he went right into telling me I wasn't going to be happy. Again, intuitively I knew. "We have a dead crow in our yard." My heart sunk. Immediate sadness.
I walked out back and stood there looking at my spirit animal. I felt a deep sadness and the tears began. I placed my hands on my heart and told the bird I loved him. And I was sorry. I'm not sure what I was sorry for, I guess I was sorry he died. My chest tightened and the tears flowed. I came back inside and my love gave me a comforting embrace. I'm grateful he understood. A beloved family member had died and I'm so deeply sad.
This morning I find myself standing on the back deck starting at him. I've cried a lot and have felt a deep sadness and grief. The same sadness and grief I have felt when someone I love has passed on. I want to honor Crow and his life, but quite frankly I don't know how. Part of me, wants to wrap him up and give him a burial. The other voice inside me says honor him through art. But how? So, I will sit with that for a little bit and allow the answers to come.
Last night I came home from work and saw something black in my back yard on the edge of the forest. I wondered what it was when I saw it, and my brain started in overdrive. Intuitively I knew. I immediately told myself it couldn't be and walked inside my house. I said the usual hellos to everyone and proceeded to the kitchen to start unloading my groceries. After saying hello to my love, he went right into telling me I wasn't going to be happy. Again, intuitively I knew. "We have a dead crow in our yard." My heart sunk. Immediate sadness.
I walked out back and stood there looking at my spirit animal. I felt a deep sadness and the tears began. I placed my hands on my heart and told the bird I loved him. And I was sorry. I'm not sure what I was sorry for, I guess I was sorry he died. My chest tightened and the tears flowed. I came back inside and my love gave me a comforting embrace. I'm grateful he understood. A beloved family member had died and I'm so deeply sad.
This morning I find myself standing on the back deck starting at him. I've cried a lot and have felt a deep sadness and grief. The same sadness and grief I have felt when someone I love has passed on. I want to honor Crow and his life, but quite frankly I don't know how. Part of me, wants to wrap him up and give him a burial. The other voice inside me says honor him through art. But how? So, I will sit with that for a little bit and allow the answers to come.
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